The Journal of Wayne:

9:00pm: Back from NY
NY Trip

Day One:
-Arrive in NY. Meet up with Skank at his apt. Meet up with JZ and BJ at MOMA.
-Lunch at Pam's Real Thai Encore
-Wander around Times Square. I am denied my request to go to Chocolate World.
-Free Beer!
-Dinner at Shake Shack/Subway
-See "The Norman Conquests: Round and Round the Garden". Joan Allen sighting. (Quest Completed: See a celebrity up close)
-Pizza by the slice.

Day Two:
-Brunch at Acme. Fred Weller sighting.
-Wander around Chinatown. We are unmoved by cheap watches and purses, but Transformers and Thundercats belt buckles are tempting.
-Ride the tram to Roosevelt Island and see the old Smallpox Hospital (where the last battle in Spiderman was filmed).
-Hey, is that an Adam's apple? Yes. Yes it is. (Quest Completed: See a she-male up close)
-All you can eat sushi at Ichiumi
-Eliza Coupe sighting on subway.
-::snore:: ::bzzzzz:: "Hey, WTF!" (Quest Completed: Shave some of BJ's arm hair)

Day Three:
-Tour of Bloomberg. We are initially shocked that they know all of our places of employment.
-Triumphant return to Shake Shack for lunch. Caramel shake is delicious. I may be lactose intolerant.
-Wander around Central Park. We are disappointed that street musicians do not brawl when entering each others' territories.
-More pizza by the slice.
-Flight is delayed 6 times due to heavy storms, but we finally make it.

6:36am: My New Flip-Flops
Some mischevious designer apparently decided to improve upon the Heineken logo. Needless to say, these were purchased immediately.

8:27pm: Bizarro World
I haven't been to Taiwan during May since I was little and forgot how great the weather is this time of the year. Usually I come over here in July when it is humid and 100 degrees. Now instead of that, imagine the best possible day in Michigan. Sunny skies, low 70s, cool breeze. Alright, so the breeze is probably due to the typhoon to the south that is totally rocking the Phillipines right now, but the guilt is minimal.

Anyway, I'm having a great time. I'm mostly just visiting family, but have been taking part in some touristy stuff too like seeing the whiskey factory and taking surfing lessons. Also, all you can eat sushi/sashimi buffet? Nice. Other than that, I was pleasantly surprised to note that surgery has me well-prepared for jet lag. It's like it doesn't exist anymore. I just pretend like I'm on call.

What I wasn't prepared for, and indeed, what I am never really prepared for is the difference in how I am perceived here. Identity. When I come here many of the external factors that make up who I am back home simply don't exist. Here I'm a tall, athletic guy of average intelligence and non-descript race. It's like opposite day on crack. Not to oversimply, but essentially in America I am an Asian guy and here I'm just a guy. I noticed some girls looking at me at a shopping center after I got here and didn't realize until much later that they were checking me out.

I know, weird.

Anyway, I have intermittent access to the internet right now, so if I don't write again on this trip I'll let you all know the rest when I get back!

10:01pm: Heroes Season Finale
( What the hell... (spoiler alert)  )

9:10pm: Earth Day
Alright, yesterday was Earth Day, so what better way to spend it than getting a treat at the hippie bakery then going to see Earth. If you haven't seen it, it's a feature length version of "Planet Earth" that intersperses breathtaking shots of our planet with the stories of various animal families.

( One thing bothered me though... (spoiler alert) )

9:49pm: Trends
While the "Will and Grace" scenario is played out over and over, the opposite doesn't seem to be true. In other words, why don't I have a lesbian best friend?

3:18pm: It's time for another Yes, they actually said that !

He just used me like pony. He was on top of me. I don't like being the pony. I want to be on top.

- Pavel Datsyuk on being ridden into the Blue Jackets' net.

1:04am: I randomly turkeyed the 10th frame
For realsies.

6:59pm: HP6

9:10pm: Bonus!
I went to the fridge thinking I only had water and found a case of Vernors. Best day ever.

2:47am: Dollhouse
I think I might be the only one watching, but if you are also following this show, tell me this. Is it getting better? I think it might be getting better, but I also want so very badly for Joss Whedon to succeed that I'm not really sure what to believe.

4:39am: Lost thoughts
So, they just happen to eat waffles on the episode that airs during International Waffle Day. Coincidence? I think not.

( Spoiler Alert )

10:22pm: Fla. student suspended from bus for passing gas
An eighth-grader was suspended from riding the school bus for three days after being accused of passing gas. The bus driver wrote on a misbehavior form that a 15-year-old teen was passing gas on the bus Monday to make the other children laugh.

I wonder, if it turns out he was doing the Ace Ventura talking ass routine, would this be covered under free speech?

1:22pm: Do you have a Beaumont doctor?
I matched in general surgery at William Beaumont Hospital! Looks like I'll be moving to Royal Oak for the next few years.

12:01am: Disappointment
There were surprisingly few drunk people in the ER tonight. I really thought we would be slammed harder for St. Patty's. The one thing I will mention for posterity is the nurse who brought in a whistle she used to annoy the drunks who were trying not to respond. That was pretty funny.

4:09pm: Judge gives 7 year old right to decide
Detroit, MI (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Wayne County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Detroit Lions, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

12:36am: Jar-Jar Binks is cool...
...according to my unofficial polling of six year-old asthmatics.

Also, Rorschach from Watchmen totally looks like Steve Nash of the Phoenix Suns.

2:36pm: Rebel = Micah?
It sort of makes sense.

12:17pm: How did they do that?

6:40pm: Jesus was technically a zombie
( This guy gets it. )

10:23am: Doo-Wop meets Internet Dating

11:20pm: Called Out
These are the people who voted against the Cobo Authority plan:

Monica Conyers
Alberta Tinsley-Talabi
Barbara Rose-Collins
Martha Reeves

You have something that is designed to lose money. Someone offers to buy it from you. Ask 100 1st graders what they would do, and you would not find 4 people to vote against this. These so-called leaders of Detroit have chosen to have the city continue to lose 15-20 million a year out of sheer fear and paranoia. Honestly, it boggles the mind why they did not jump at the opportunity to get rid of the deteriorating money hole that is Cobo.

7:47pm: Yes! I want to shoot things and watch them fly backwards, then reload very slowly!
( Force-a-Nature  )

11:42pm: katpyc9, I'm going to need a translation on this...
...because I have a feeling it is ridiculous.

11:53pm: *snik* *snik* ♫I'm Wolverine!♫
I was curious to see what sort of song and dance numbers Hugh Jackman was going to whip out as a first time Oscar host, and the interpretive Reader dance routine (06:11) did not disappoint.